Why am I writing this blog? It’s about self discipline and conquering imposter syndrome. After totally failing to keep to my 2024 and 2025 resolutions of writing every day and keeping a journal, I thought I’d stick my neck out and put a weekly blog on the internet. Don’t expect great literature or world shattering philosophical insights. The blog’s a public statement, a commitment to publish something every week. I don’t expect to have any readers, and this is little more than deranged ramblings, but they are my ramblings, and if they are out there, I’ve met my target of writing something every week.

My attempts to keep a journal in 2025 were a complete disaster. I bought an A4 page a day diary, thinking  I would be easily able to fill a page a day (half a page on Saturdays and Sundays) but the lines were quite narrow and the whole page to fill became intimidating when I felt tired or had been too busy to sit down and write. Yes, I know the purists say make an hour for yourself every day, but that doesn’t work for me – there’s just so much else to do.

I succeeded until mid March when various reasons stopped the regular flow, and before I could turn round, a couple of month had passed and I had got out of the habit. 

The empty dated pages looked at me like a rebuke. How could you ignore me, they say. Aren’t I important enough? You did Monday and Tuesday. What have I done to offend you on Wednesday? So a book of undated pages, an occasional book if you like, might work better for me.

Some of my writer friends are mustard keen on daily writing – morning pages, cafe writing – but I struggle, so lets stop pretending I’m going to be self disciplined enough to keep a page-a-day diary and find another way.

I have several very attractive blank books given me by friends to encourage me to write, but that’s the problem. The books are lovely – excellent quality paper, often with beautiful illustrations on facing pages and sometimes with prompts to get me started. Imposter syndrome barges in. What do you  have to say that is worth spoiling these beautiful pages? The book looks so much better empty, and writing anything less than great literature in it idoesn’t seem acceptable. The book is spoiled, and somehow that seems disrespectful to my friends.

A cheap A5 book from Smiths doesn’t seem like desecration., though, of course, a notebook means I have to sit down, preferably at a desk, find a pencil and start the process off, and perhaps transcribe it to the lap top later if I want to use the ideas.

My new year’s resolution is to try again. You are welcome to join me on my journey.